Learning never exhausts the mind
Home >  Blog > Self Improvement > How to Gain Self Confidence

Published 22nd November 2009 by

Self-confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. It's about being free from doubt and having the utmost belief in yourself and your abilities.

It's important to remember that confidence is that it isn't something you have or haven't got. If you can be confident in one situation then you can be confident in another. We are all confident about something at some point in our lives.

It doesn't matter what situation you wish to gain confidence in, there are techniques that can help you to feel confident right now.

Stop what you are doing and imagine how your life would be if you are naturally confident right now - at ease with yourself and everything around you. How would your posture be? How would your voice sound? What kind of things would you be saying to yourself? Now imagine this confident you sitting or standing in front of you. Imagine stepping into that more confident you. See through their eyes, hear through there ears and feel the feelings of confidence. And notice that right in front of you is an even more confident you, sitting or standing a little taller, a look of slightly more self-belief, emanating a little bit of extra charisma. Step into this more confident self and feel more confident, more passion, more power, more ease and more comfort. Be sure to notice how you are breathing, the expression on your face and the light in your eyes.

You should now have feelings of increased confidence. This technique is called visualisation and is extremely important in building self-confidence. Another important technique is practice. Practice and visualisation can be effectively combined to help you feel confident in any situation.

We are what we repetitively do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.

Many people practice having no self-confidence before giving a presentation or approaching somebody to ask them out. They automatically visualise themselves failing, and in the minds eye, they are practising failing. This is known as an un-resourceful state.

In contrast, confident successful people have often faced situations that involve risk and uncertainty. They practice putting themselves into a resourceful state, taking action and embracing the risk in difficult situations. This then becomes their habit.

If you can visualise yourself being successful, and practice being confident in your minds eye then you will gain a greater sense of self-confidence. This is because the mind doesn't know the difference between something vividly imagined and something real.

Here are some more confidence boosting tips:

1. Don't put yourself down

Don't put yourself down when you talk about yourself and don't compare yourself to others as this can make you feel bad about yourself. People are naturally attracted to people who have self-confidence and passionately talk about themselves and their lives.

2. Work out

Physical fitness has a huge effect on self-confidence. If you're out of shape, you'll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physical appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

3. Dress Sharp

If you look the part, you feel the part. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don't look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people.

4. Stop thinking negatively about yourself

That little voice that is inside your head, your internal voice, can often say negative things. "I am not confident", "I can't do this". You need to stop it from saying such things. Reverse what it says so that you tell yourself "I AM confident", "I CAN do this".

5. Read books and try self-hypnosis

I have found great success from two books - The Natural Art of Seduction: Secrets of Success With Women by Richard La Ruina and Instant Confidence by Paul McKenna. Both of these have helped me tremendously and I would recommend them to anybody seeking to build confidence. Instant Confidence comes with an included "mind programming cd" which uses hypnosis to plant seeds of confidence in your mind. Richard La Ruina also has a self-hypnosis cd called Approaching Confidence which is available separately. Of course, there are many other books available from different authors.

These actions will start you off on the journey to building self-confidence and creating that magnetic personality that everyone wants to be around you.

This information is presented for information purposes only. The content is in no way intended to replace professional medical care or attention by a qualified practitioner.

Leave a Reply

Fields marked with * are mandatory.

We respect your privacy, and will not make your email public. Hashed email address may be checked against Gravatar service to retrieve avatars. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.